I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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