You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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