I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize