So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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