yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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