We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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