yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
