he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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