u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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