yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
