Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize