I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
