Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
