OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just pee around me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
