I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
