O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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