Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want to make out with him forever
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
