my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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