we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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