I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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