i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
