He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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