You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
