I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
