so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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