my mouth tastes like poor choices
Moan for me like Helen Keller
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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