I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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