It's like God shit irony all over that family
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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