so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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