His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
