Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
