so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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