just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
