Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
