Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
