I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize