Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize