nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Less talking, more tequila
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
