i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
