I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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