It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
