I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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