If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize