You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
