I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i will never coherently bang her
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
