So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
