we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
