my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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