you guys were way drunker than both of me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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