I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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