My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
