there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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