It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
