Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
