grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
