i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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