i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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