I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Operation Purity has been aborted
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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