Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
