i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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