Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
