It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
