I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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