If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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