Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
