suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize