She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
