she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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